This summer, I started this process of connecting with my environment through awareness, which led me on a path of learning how to tap into my creativity or creative genius. This is why I decided to switch to this class last minute. Funny enough, the first day we discussed rather a creative genius was something some people are born with or something anyone can tap into, the very thing I had been reflecting on the past few months. As we discussed in class, I was thinking back on my journey this summer of discovering my creative process through awareness of my environment. I became aware that to heal from the years of trauma in my life, I needed to tap into creativity to create a better life for myself. I stopped trying to discover or force myself to create because the more pressure I was putting on myself, the harder it became. It took me months to understand that creativity was something I could just tap into or, as I like to describe it as, entangled with. I stopped trying to think, discover, or create--I just started to use my senses and be in the moment. While allowing myself to feel the world, the creative genius inside of me just blossomed.
For the first moment this summer, I felt myself tap into this creative consciousness at Dead and Company's concert for their last-ever tour. As I stood around some of my best friends, I closed my eyes and just felt my surroundings. My body was still as I felt the frequency of the music and the energy coming from the people around me, letting myself meditate and flow with my environment. Months before, I had the idea of wanting to eventually turn my psychology research into fantasy books once I get my Ph.D., but I was not really thinking about it because I thought that was a future adventure for myself. In the middle of the concert, I started to see the idea of strings of frequencies that were creating my DNA and attaching it to the environment and past memories. These colorful strings wrapped around my body creating clothes that showed on the outside who I was--every lived experience and DNA strand that my consciousness was entangled with created the threads of who I was. Then it hit me. I could move the strings, tracing them to environments and memories, untangling myself from the negative harmful entanglements. Recalling this memory, it reminded me that creativity is not defined by art. While I am still a creative genius, I am also the canvas ready to be turned into a masterpiece--creating yourself and life is only achieved by those that can tap into that creative genius energy.
As I tried to think of what to draw to represent this story, I actually had to stop myself from overthinking several times--taking deep breaths and allowing my body to just feel without thinking. Before I knew it, I was drawing DNA with colorful strings flowing out of one side messy and chaotic, and the other side straight and orderly. I felt myself thinking of memories, people, and places as I drew lines messily around the paper and really started to connect the feeling I had with how I drew each line. The straight side was made of the same colors, but they were untangled from the negative experiences. The creative process not only shows me how to create art but how to create myself.
I am coming back to add a photo of art work when I can get a better picture.
